i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
