I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize