she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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