at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
