Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
