You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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