he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
