can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
