nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I need to align my fucking chakras
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
