He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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