woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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