My hair reeks of homosexuality.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
