just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
