They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
