So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
