The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
