OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My bed smells like the plague
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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