She announced her abortion via fbk
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
