Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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