Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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