what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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