Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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