I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
