And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
