That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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