This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
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