you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize