he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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