I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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