What a fucking waste of an outfit
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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