What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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