I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
