I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
