Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
