6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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