Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
