so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
