I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
