oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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