I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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