OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
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