Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
