Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
