For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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