i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We got so high we made milksteak
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I am naked and annoyed.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
