i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
