When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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