I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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