That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
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Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
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He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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