nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
