last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
