it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
