last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
