Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
