I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
