I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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