so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
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We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
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If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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