I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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