i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She's the barista slut.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
